On Depression

I tend to see depression as neither a thought nor a feeling; instead, I see it as an outlook. Depression is a system of belief that dictates that either the world or the self are not “good enough”; or both. An internal impression that is fed through external stimulus and, tragically, sought externally as well. In other words, the darkness that is harnessed within will only reveal the darkness outside. Biased private views are reinforced through public observations and interactions to the point that if anything challenges the view, it falls to the wayside; or, is failed to be recognized. Sadness is pursued and not simply found. The depressed perspective can be brought on by a multitude of factors, including personal or institutional changes, an inability to accept change, grief or loss, difficulty in differentiating the self from darker subject matter (works of fiction or perhaps the news cycle), inhibited or uninhibited freedom, difficulty in processing a traumatic experience or being unable to move beyond the experiences of the past, nihilism, or a neurochemical deficiency. Those who are depressed often feel that they have just cause in their beliefs. They feel hopeless in regards to themselves, their peers or family, community, or humanity as a whole. This occurs for a multitude of reasons and, ultimately, depends on what the depressed individual attributes toward their persistence in sadness and hopelessness.

Many depressed people feel particularly identified with the analogy of being stuck in a hole; or a well. The further they sink into the hole/well, the dimmer the light at the top appears. The dimmer the light appears, the more they are certain they’re unable to climb their way to the top. The more certain they are that they cannot climb their way to the top, the less likely they are to try. The less likely they are to try, the further they sink. This unfortunate cycle continues and appears endless. What I find most interesting about this analogy is that the depressed person is looking up as opposed to down. They see the light dissipating as opposed to staring directly into the abyss as depression often mistakes others’ willingness to grumble for validation and commiseration. 

There is great utility in looking up towards the light, particularly if you feel that you do not have anyone to speak with regarding your pain. However, with professional assistance, staring into the abyss may provide more comfort than is to be expected. Sometimes continuing to trek into the darkness willingly can provide the answers to bring about serenity and fulfillment. Just as the mythical phoenix rises from the ashes, after bursting into flames, you too may find renewal in the darkness. Put another way; there is catharsis to be found in sorrow. This can be a difficult concept to grasp, as it seems counterintuitive, but perhaps what appears as counterintuitive is actually avoidance of a truth or perception, which lies deep within ourselves, that can rescue us from the murk of our viewpoint. What comes across as a hole/well is actually a tunnel that leads one through to the other side.

“As that I can see no way out but through”-Robert Frost

“All I’ve undergone, I will keep on”-Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails

“Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day”-William Shakespeare 

If you are seeking assistance for the purposes of increasing a positive outlook in life please feel free to explore AdamGWalterbach.com or contact me for a consultation at (720) 551-5863.