Enhancing Sexual Dialogue

Sex! Hot, sweaty, erotic, steamy, penetrative sex!

Do I have your attention?

How wonderful it is to experience the awe of our own and others’ bodies. The opportunity to seduce another; or to be seduced into a stream of passionate lovemaking.

How pleasurable it is to know exactly how and where to instigate rapturous sensation upon your partner’s body and vice versa. Allowing primitive desire to take hold in order to encounter pure bliss.

Ideally, we could have the sex we want, when we want it, without the concern that we are not being fulfilled our partner is being unfulfilled. Sex can be complicated, awkward, boring, shameful, and ultimately unenjoyable for many, whether that occurs constantly or occasionally. In this article, I want to discuss the ways we can enjoy a more fulfilling sex life by means of dialogue.

Perhaps you’ve read it on other health blogs, but having regular sex is linked to having better mental health as well as feeling/looking more youthful. It essentially has a lingering effect that trickles into other facets of our lives.

Having great sex increases happiness and decreases anxiety which allows us to function better on a day-to-day basis, whether that be interacting with our loved ones or increasing our productivity around the house or at the office.

While there are a variety of sexual issues that people encounter and a multitude of reasons that they experience them, there are some simple ways to begin to bring back the passion and satisfaction in your escapades. It generally starts with enhancing communication surrounding the topic.

Sexual communication can be challenging primarily because often, what prevents us from telling our partner that we desire sex, or desire something specific during the act of sex, is that we fear rejection. In my professional experience, I’ve found that rejection runs deeper as there are biological and environmental reasons that cause us to avoid this reaction.

Avoiding rejection is truly an avoidance of the feeling of shame. While necessary in a functional society, this ugly feeling is something that is developed in early childhood that ultimately dictates our behavior in adulthood.

Reducing the shame we feel around sex can be tricky. This difficult road will eventually require us to communicate with our sexual partner. While our partner may not understand what or why we desire specific behaviors during intercourse, it can be helpful to turn the conversation back toward them.

Sometimes before we can receive, we must first give. “What could I do better in the bedroom”; or “what would you like from me in regard to my sexual performance” are two questions that can open the channels of inhibition. Your partner may not know how to immediately respond to the question as it may not be something they have had adequate enough time to consider. Encourage them to think about the question and to get back to you.

As inhibitions are lowered, and they are able to articulate how you can assist in increasing their pleasure, you can demonstrate their desire.

Proving to them that they can discuss what they want through increasing your ability to provide should expand their openness to reciprocate, making sex a more enjoyable experience for both of you.

Generally speaking, if we have more that we are grateful for, we are more receptive and seek ways to give back. Think of it as sexual gratuity.

Take things step-by-step, don’t get ahead of yourself. If you jump beyond the foundations of an enjoyable sex life, then you risk prompting your partner’s disgust response. Being on the receiving end of a disgust response can bring about those pesky feelings of rejection and shame, which can prevent you from placing yourself in the vulnerable position of asking for something.

As powerful as sex is, it is also incredibly delicate. Foster the sex life you want by assisting others in doing the same and, as always, be safe and ethical.

Having difficulties in achieving sexual satisfaction with others? Feel free to explore AdamGWalterbach.com or contact me at 720.551.5863.