Nutrients For The Self

When we describe selfishness, it is often done so in a negative connotation. The perception is that if someone is only investing in themself, they must be doing little to nothing for others. 

Friends and family may guilt one another into sacrificing one’s self for their benefit. There’s a chance that some could accuse you of being arrogant or narcissistic if you went against their wishes. 

While there are certain aspects of helping others that positively impact all parties, including you, relentless helping; or selflessness is a dangerous and challenging road for one to travel. There are ways one can balance selfishness and selflessness.

I often resort back to the oxygen mask analogy to drive this point home. When reviewing the safety instructions prior to air travel, the recommendation is that, in case of emergency, one puts their oxygen mask on before assisting someone else with their mask. The reason for this is that you risk passing out, in this unlikely event, if you do not take care of yourself first. Passing out will not serve your fellow passenger, who is struggling to put on their mask. One does not need to wait for the event of a crash landing in order to put this principle into practice in their daily life. 

It is imperative to feed the self with things of nutritional value to help preserve one’s integrity as well as assist others. This means doing what is suitable for you in all instances, despite what others may say. 

There are many things that one can do that are definitively good and right for the purposes of furthering their development. Eating healthy, exercising, working on creative projects, vacationing, obtaining higher levels of education, accomplishing goals, meditating, monitoring drug/alcohol/sex/entertainment consumption, resting, having a routine, etc.; these are all things that you need. 

Yet some may say you are not spending enough time with them; you don’t care about others or negatively imply that “you’ve changed.” The fact of the matter is that if you do not take care of yourself, you signal to society that someone must take care of you.

If you do not pursue nutrients for the self, you will inhibit your will. This results in inaction, confusion, prolonged lack of development, resentment, and denial of the pursuit of identity. One may even feel that they are justified in their lethargy surrounding self-improvement resulting in dragging others down with you. 

Invariably being burdensome implies that you do not have a strong enough sense of self. One should not be overly intimidated to ask questions or obtain assistance when they need it. However, after receiving help, it is your responsibility to do what needs to be done correctly for your and others’ benefit. One must always correct one’s ways and put themself first, or the consequences will be dire.

Prioritizing one’s self does not mean being gluttonous or greedy. It can be challenging to find the line of extremity unless you experience it through trial and error. If you do happen to encounter this invisible boundary, let it be a cautionary lesson regarding over-indulgence. Excess serves nobody, not even you. 

One is unable to process over-indulgence in a prosocial manner; resultative is displaced anger, foolishness, arrogance, shame, guilt, and self-pity. Coming to this point should be a wake-up call to reassess your conception of self-care and to determine where you need to atone for your mistakes. The body and the mind have limitations; consuming nutrients for the self should be adequate, not gratuitous.