The Process Of Transformation
As a Denver therapist, there are two things that I've observed that all of my clients seek when choosing to come to therapy. The first is to break free of the confines of the past, to no longer allow memories, behaviors, or adverse events, previously experienced, to have a place in the client's present or future.
The second is to embody this change through the act of transforming one's life. In my experience, this is, perhaps at its root, the vast majority of what all therapeutic candidates seek.
Transformative experiences contribute to a sense of renewal and solidify that the changes you desire to make in your life are indeed achievable, assisting you in building a strong sense of self-efficacy. In short, one may say to themselves, "if I can change this, then I can do anything."
We all, in some sense, seek to have increased self-confidence in our ability to navigate the world and the problems that we will encounter as a part of our journey. This article discusses the stages of any change that you will go through. It is my hope through your understanding of these stages; you will begin to build more confidence in knowing how capable of transformation you genuinely are.
In understanding the stages of change, I will be referencing a model developed by James O. Prochaska and Carlo Di Clemente in the late 1970s, known as the transtheoretical model. The first two stages in this theory are pre-contemplation and contemplation. They are described nearly precisely as how they sound.
Precontemptation can be categorized as a denial or general unawareness that there is even a change that needs to be made within a person's scope of reference. Perhaps if someone you know suggests that you make a specific change, you may respond with defensiveness while you're in the pre-contemplative stage.
However, moving out of pre-contemplation into contemplation, you will begin to see an error in your ways and say to yourself, "maybe I do need to change." Finally, admitting to yourself that the change needs to occur, you move from being contemplative to the preparation stage.
In preparation, you are considering both how you could fail and how you could succeed. Acknowledgment of potential obstacles as well as the rewarding feeling of future success is regarded as you strategize to implement your plan. Something to note is that while you are in the preparation stage, it can be quite useful to create S.M.A.R.T. goals (click link for further explanation).
After a good plan is formulated, you move from the preparation to the action stage. This is where your plan is implemented; the action stage involves forgoing older behaviors for newer, more prosocial behaviors. In almost all scenarios, whenever you rid yourself of something, you are making room for something else. Obstacles, real or imaginary, are confronted and maneuvered over, around, or plowed through altogether.
Gradually the change that you desire and imagine for yourself takes hold and becomes your new reality. This is where you move from the action to the maintenance stage. Maintaining the change(s) is allowing yourself simply to be. It is living with this newly incorporated aspect of yourself and checking in periodically, having that internal dialogue to make sure you're on the right track and that all appears well with the newer, improved version of you.
Relapse, despite maintenance, is often a part of the change process; however, it is not formally included in the transtheoretical model. In the event of relapse, it is essential not to be too hard on yourself—revaluate how you regressed in your progress and go back to the preparation stage.
If it is helpful, think of the brain as a muscle (even though it's an organ). Should you falter, you don't want to strain the brain by being unnecessarily harsh on yourself; this makes the recovery process increasingly prolonged.
Have self-compassion, get back on the proverbial horse, and try again. After all, we learn more about how we can succeed by truthfully and gently examining our failures.
References
LaMorte, W. W. (2019). The Transtheoretical Model (Stages Of Change). Retrieved from https://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/mph-modules/sb/behavioralchangetheories/behavioralchangetheories6.html