Curb Your Hubris
Oftentimes in life, it is easy to find yourself in a period where everything is going seemingly well; you're feeling accomplished, confident, and on top of the world. Slowly you begin to realize that not everybody is aboard your train, nor do they want to support you on your journey.
Perhaps it starts as a slightly concerning quip here or there but then gradually moves toward friends or family members vocalizing their concern. "I'm totally fine," you say, assuming that they're the ones who are having issues, not you. Gradually, their comments begin to get under your skin, slowly realizing that perhaps there is truth behind their words.
Hubris, or excessive pride or self-confidence, is incredibly difficult to spot, particularly if you're the one who is keeping an eye out for it. Our egos have a tendency to self-preserve by any means necessary and can build walls or defenses that prevent us from being able to judge our progress. In this article, I will explore the ego, ranging from healthy functioning to when things go awry. In addition, I will provide some tips for keeping your ego in check.
The purpose of the ego is to balance your primitive urges with your sense of moralistic standards. When one is able to do this successfully, it builds something known as ego strength, maintaining your identity and sense of self during conflict.
Often the ego receives a bad wrap, being mischaracterized as someone's self-importance. While self-importance can play into ego, it does not embody the ego's entire purpose.
Healthy ego functioning propels you from one area of your life to the next while retaining resiliency and promoting resolute self-esteem.
However, the ego becomes inflated in many scenarios as it will often attempt to defend blows to one's self-esteem. This is typically when things go awry; you've had a good run and begin to see your luck as being purely skill; you are ignoring your blind spots and only focused on your strengths; you are sensitive surrounding specific inadequacies and overcompensate in interpersonally demeaning ways in an attempt to throw others off your trail; you shoulder shrug your way out of difficult situations because it is too psychologically painful; etc.
When others point out your oversights or weaknesses, you immediately dismiss their insights as tomfoolery or a symptom of their projection. Denial is hubris' number one wingman. Moving past denial is key to diminishing self-importance or an overly inflated ego.
One way that you can ensure that you're not ego-tripping is to practice increased healthy skepticism of your motives. Questioning if what someone is pointing out to you has any merit can be beneficial as opposed to an immediate dismissal of incoming information. See if the puzzle piece that's been presented fits into the larger picture.
Another way is to keep in mind that what you see is all there is. You look to make quick associations between what someone tells you and what you know, based on your experiences. There is a cognitive distortion known as the availability bias that states that humans are more inclined to consider examples that more readily come to mind than examples that slowing down your thinking process in order to gain access to more profound thought can evoke. Knowing that your wrongdoings may not be immediately available to you, ask for a recounting of specific instances of your behavior.
Lastly, be mindful of your defensiveness. Quickly jumping to a conclusion (that you're right or wrong) may not always be the best mode of problem-solving. Take time with your response; chew your food so it is more easily digestible.
In taking these steps to counter excessive self-importance, you can successfully preclude the development of hubris or curb it at best. Checking your ego is a handy tool when it comes to navigating your relationships, deciphering truth, and self-betterment. Doing so helps to build humility and ego strength.
Remember, the willingness to be wrong is not a character deficit. It exhibits the courage of vulnerability. When it comes down to it, being wrong may actually be right. Go figure!
References
Henriques, G. (2013, June 27). The Elements of Ego Functioning. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201306/the-elements-ego-functioning
Kahneman, D. (2011). The Science Of Availability. In Thinking, Fast And Slow (pp. 129-136). New York City, NY: Farrar, Straus And Giroux.