Voyaging Into The Unconscious (Part Three): Integrating The Shadow

Welcome back to my series on the unconscious. This article addresses the concept of the shadow and how we can better incorporate it into our lives. 

The shadow is the Jungian psychological concept of a person's inner darkness. It is the part of you that you would likely provide negative judgment toward, typically utilizing words like bad, negative, dark side, evil, inner-demon, etc. 

One's shadow is not a flaw in human nature. In fact, it is human nature itself. The shadow is the long-term result of denying our primitive urges, which, as it happens, is one of the many ways that homo sapiens have evolved. Humans psychologically evolve, in part, by pretending that we are not animals; however, many of us find it more difficult than not to keep emotional reactions and hidden desires at bay. 

The mammalian brain is wired with genetic coding, preceding our neanderthal ancestors, that can dictate these darker aspects of our nature. In addition to fear and rage circuits (often seen as a part of the functioning of the orbital cortex) that can be triggered in the brain when encountering an emotionally volatile scenario, we also have several inner demons that we have difficulty quelling that motivate the more violent side of the shadow—some of these urges include predation, dominance, desire for revenge, sadism, and ideology. 

It is often the case that people strongly wish that they could rid themselves of their shadow. However, when one attempts to rid themself of their shadow, they only deny its existence, allowing the shadow to increase its potentiality in ruling over the actions and thoughts of the individual. 

The shadow looks different from person to person. One person's shadow may take the form of aggression, and for another, it may take the form of hedonism/pleasure-seeking. Whatever it is for you, left unchecked, it is a danger to yourself and others. 

What's the solution, you may ask. Jung advocates for one to integrate their shadow as opposed to ridding yourself of it (which is impossible). 

In order to integrate your shadow, you need first to consider your inner darkness. Some of these darknesses could look like fantasies you don't act upon due to fear of consequence or backlash, activities you do in private and have built shame around, enjoyable media you consume that depicts the taboo or illegal and/or unethical, spending habits that denigrate your physical or financial health, a subscribed ideology that conflicts with other viewpoints (regardless of how right or wrong you consider them), masochistic or sadistic behaviors that you infrequently or frequently engage in, etc. 

Once you have identified an activity or thought that is either problematic or could be problematic, you need to decide what type of relationship you want to have with this shadowy aspect of yourself. The relationship I would suggest is one that involves acceptance and harm reduction. 

Acceptance is a concept that exists beyond judgment, meaning that you see something as beyond right or wrong, good or bad. Acceptance means looking at these aspects of yourself and seeing them as something(s) that could not have been any different for you. However, just because something(s) could not have been any different for you, it doesn't mean that they can't be different for you in the present or near future. 

Acceptance is different from the concept of tolerance in that tolerance decides how we want to approach something once we can accept it for what it is. Meaning that you don't have to judge these aspects of your shadow as being good or bad, but you do have to decide how you would like to manage them. Only through acceptance (its opposite being denial) can we truly make any meaningful change(s).

Next comes the component of harm reduction. A prosocial way to think about harm reduction is how you want to negotiate the relationship you have with yourself and others. What do you want to add, and what do you want to sacrifice? In other words, how can you safely integrate your shadow in a way that minimizes any physical or psychological harm? 

For example: let's say someone has proverbially burned you, and your conscience is flooded with revenge fantasies. Acting upon a revenge fantasy could seriously cause harm to someone else. It may ultimately cost you reputational, personal, or financial freedom or status due to social ostracization, jail time, or court fees. (In a somewhat serendipitous moment, I happen to be editing this article as the country gawks at the emotionally volatile behavior of Will Smith at the most recent Academy Awards, a man who let his shadow get the best of him)

How can you express this frustration and desire for aggression? One way could be watching a satisfying revenge flick (i.e., John Wick or Kill Bill), another could be joining a boxing class, perhaps you could write a short story about exacting your revenge, or you could simply enjoy the fact that you are having fantasies about harming someone else and feel comfort in knowing that you can safely hurt them in your head without any repercussions (this happens far more often than most are willing to discuss). 

If you're still finding it challenging to identify what could be a part of your shadow vs. what is not, I would consider the essence of your inner struggle. Perhaps the most ubiquitous example of our shadow would be our sense of psychological suffering. The quintessential example of this would be anything that we struggle with that causes us intrapersonal turmoil, strongly and impatiently desiring an ideal solution to help us through our strife. 

It is only through our acceptance of suffering that we can alleviate it; or, at the very least, build increased tolerance toward this everyday pain. 

Those who run from their pain create more of a struggle for themselves and others. In fact, as a psychotherapist, this is perhaps the most common underlying reason I get reached out to via phone or email by new prospective clients looking to work with me. It's actually quite human to run from your pain; however, hardly is it ever conducive to your wellbeing. 

Accept your darkness and examine its impact on others and yourself. In the end, you will be able to reflect upon your life, acknowledging that you were able to contend with the cards that you've been dealt (both nature and nurture). If you're reading this and think you're absolved of any duty in this arena, I regret informing you that you are sorely mistaken. 

References

Jung, C. G. (1933). The basis postulates of analytic psychology. In Modern man in search of a soul (pp. 173–195). essay, A Harvest Book. 

Pinker, S. (2012). Inner demons. In The better angels of our nature (pp. 482–570). essay, Penguin.