Ghosts Of Our Past

There are moments when the weight of the present builds to a level in which memories of our past seem to flood our conscience. Perhaps they are generally positive memories and allow us to reflect and smile through recollection. Other memories are not as pleasant. They are invasive and discomforting due to some level of humiliation, embarrassment, guilt, or shame attached to them. 

We wish that we did not feel these feelings and desire to move through the agony of the reminiscence as smoothly and quickly as possible. These experiences do not always transpire in the way we would like. Preferably they would resemble a quick hello or goodbye and then be on their way, whichever direction they were heading.

The time in which we remember something painful is usually reflective of the pain that we are currently experiencing. In addition, the pain in which we are presently experiencing is reflective of either the demands we place upon ourselves, the demands placed on us by another, or the harm that someone has inflicted against us. 

The memory that attaches itself to the present is attempting to communicate to us what we were supposed to learn from the past so that we may find pathways forward in the present. Ultimately, the way in which we navigate the present can prepare us for the future.

Perhaps the emerging memory has yet to have been applied to a specific lesson; or, it is also possible that a lesson has already been applied. Either there is more to learn, or it is merely a reminder that the lesson is presently relevant.

Here’s an example: you’re working toward a goal that appears vividly visible; however, it is not entirely within the grasp of obtainment. You begin to remember major regrets from the past, each representing a different era. The recall of these events adds a unique, perhaps increased gravity toward your present motivations. You may experience an intrusion of doubt, fear, or general anxiety in regards to moving toward the acquisition of your goal.

The formulation of meaning is the only way forward. Asking one’s self “why the discomfort,” “what purpose does it serve,” “what was the lesson that I was supposed to learn from that experience/memory,” and “how is it applicable now”? 

The ghosts may not immediately dissipate; this is the real challenge of one’s individual responsibility, maintenance. Consistently reminding oneself of the meaning that you have formulated allows one to ingrain a constructive pathway that combats the problematic remnants of doubt and issues solace and permission to continue one’s trek. The ghosts of our pasts will either dissolve completely or become welcomed guests that visit when we most need them.