On Patience
Frustrated, angry, or feeling fed up are excellent indications that there is work to be done with regard to our sense of having patience. Being stuck in traffic, the friend who does not listen, or the storm that ruins your outdoor plans are all situations where it is possible to find oneself in the position of believing that an individual, group, or cosmic force is working against you.
Woe is me that I did not get my way. I am, and I will forever be a victim of circumstances outside of my control.” Perhaps these types of statements ring true for some, and perhaps for others, they seem tragically overwrought. It can be easy to paint oneself as the victim, especially when we recognize that there are places to be and things that need to get done. However, these are the expectations that we put upon ourselves.
We are the ones who ultimately control the outlook of a given situation.
Having patience for others means having patience for one’s self. If we are not patient with who we are or where we are, we certainly cannot respond to others with compassion and understanding.
How could someone who is not willing to show themselves kindness be able to show others the same? It no longer has to be the plight of our suffering when we recognize that circumstances often occur outside the realm of our control. Allowing ourselves to find patience provides us with an ability to recognize it in others when we are going about our day.
Granted, I understand that there are times that exist within individuals and nations where urgency is immediate and prevalent. Even within these moments, there is a tranquility to be found.
Forgiveness in oneself, particularly in those heated exchanges (occurring in our heads as fantasy or verbally with others), can be a moment of clarity in recognizing the value of patience. Approaching all of life with urgency invites major consequences in the form of regret, guilt, and shame.
Mistakes are generally made when we attempt to proceed forward without having all of the information or resources that we need. The reason that we do not have them is due to our lack of patience; or, in other words, an inability to see ourselves.
This is one of the many functions of the ego, to create a sense of urgency and to protect who we see when we look in the mirror. It can equally distribute guidance and misguidance, truths and falsehoods, permission and denial.
Patience allows us to understand the ego’s motivations and can help to provide a more precise reflection when looking inward. Patience provides us with the vision to see ourselves as we are as opposed to who we pretend or aspire to be. It is the presence of the mind that is the answer to alleviating much of our suffering. Wait for patience as patience waits for you.