Common Identity Crises

Believe it or not, identity crises are far more common and embedded in the human condition than many people prefer to give them credit. Perhaps the denial of crisis, the preference to believe that life will continue on some hunky-dory trajectory is precisely what leads one into such a stressful scenario. 

After all, most would prefer limited disruption, an obstacle-free course. It only makes sense the warning signs would most likely be ignored, leading one into a volatile situation where questions surrounding where one went wrong, how to move forward, and what needs to be sacrificed are egregiously prevalent. In this article, I will examine some of the more common crises of identity and what might help you move forward in a prosocial manner.

Perhaps the time when most people recognize that they've experienced an identity crisis is in adolescence. Erik Erikson, a German psychologist, developed a guide to identifying crises in his theory of psychosocial stages of development. For adolescents, the Eriksonian school of thought dictates that the teen is going through the stage of identity vs. role confusion. 

Indulge me, if you will, and think back to your high school experience. Consider all of the groups, cliques, or sub-cultures that existed under the roof of your alma mater—jocks, preps, punks, goths, stoners, artists, theater kids, etc. Forgive me if you do not feel represented by some of the categories listed prior. 

The point that I'm making is that all of those categories, in a sense, represent some type of observable identity. The role confusion component of this crisis comes in when the adolescent feels confused about how they will fit into society through conspicuous garb and behavior, as well as different wrestling identities at an internal level (spiritual, familial, sexual, gender roles). Successfully making it through this stage is epitomized by mid to high levels of confidence regarding who you are.

After adolescence, all young adults go through what Erikson termed intimacy vs. isolation. This stage is about forming loving relationships (platonic and sexual). 

You may cycle through multiple boy/girlfriends before finding someone with whom you feel a strong connection. You may gain and lose friends who meet your maturity level as it progresses or remains the same. COVID-19 has made this integral stage particularly hard for young adults, which is why you will see this reflected in this cohort's high infection rates if you are looking at the data for different age groups. 

The crisis component comes from feeling isolated, particularly if you have difficulty maintaining your relationships with others. Feeling a sense of connection with people, roughly your age through the period of young adulthood marks successful navigation of this crisis.

Coming out of young adulthood is middle adulthood. Many are familiar with or have at least heard about the dreaded (and sometimes destructive) mid-life crisis. The conflict between generativity and stagnation brings on this particular stage. 

The central existential question that permeates this period is, "can I make my life count?" Those who feel that the answer to this question lies somewhere within their past desires that never reached fulfillment will often use it as an excuse to pursue an extramarital affair, buy an expensive sports car, binge on material possessions, or travel across the globe to "find themself." 

These behaviors are all done to compensate for what appears to be lost time and prevent a prolonged sensation of stagnation for the remainder of the individual's life. Successfully moving through this crisis is to believe that one's life has been, is currently, and will continue to be filled with productive and creative endeavors. Tinkering with various aspects of your present scenario may be required in order to arrive at a place of comfortability.

These are not all of the crises that you may experience in your life; however, I can assure you that the ones I discuss are relateable in some generalizable way. Approaching any of these challenging periods can begin to feel like an emotional heaviness that is gradually compounding, taking on more weight as each moment passes. So much so that this may cause you to want to turn away from your pain. I regret to inform you that this approach is the wrong way to navigate such a tumultuous period. 

Refusing to do what is difficult is an avoidance of ownership of one's experience and the responsibility that accompanies a life. In short, denial won't make your problem go away. 

Successfully making it through each crisis should be your primary goal, which means facing what is difficult and terrible in a given scenario with audacity and the wisdom of your future self guiding you. Imagine yourself in older adulthood, reflecting on the person you once were. Would you prefer to look back on such challenges with a sense of integrity or regret? 

The choice is yours, and it always has been. The true testament of one's character is how you respond in a crisis, don't ever forget that.

References

McLeod, S. A. (2018, May 03). Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

Van Beusekom, M. (2021, February 3). Adults 20 to 49 may have driven 72% of US COVID-19 surges. Retrieved from https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2021/02/adults-20-49-may-have-driven-72-us-covid-19-surges